A Chat With DEĀ EX MACHINĀ
BY KATHERINE CHUNGTorina Gedler, who goes by the musical moniker DEĀ EX MACHINĀ, is on a mission to create a safe place where disabled artists' voices are heard. They started their journey by learning music theory, being a part of the youth choir, and participating in every extracurricular their public school offered.
“I was pretty sure I had childhood autism and ADHD, as well. But, I did not become physically disabled til I was 14 years old. I had a brain injury that left me paralyzed completely [at first]. I know that this is not part of my musical history, but the disability changed the way I made music and approached it.”
These were pivotal times when they did not identify as any label, except a kid who loved music and being with their chosen family.
DEĀ EX MACHINĀ
Their Disability Identity and New EP, APO/THECARY
While creating their EP, they did not look at it from a medical perspective. Instead, they looked at it from a social perspective. In the disability community, it refers to the moral, medical, and social models. “When I was writing the songs from the EP, I was not thinking about anything. I was basically intuiting all of those lyrics. In 2022, I hadn’t embraced my disabled identity, even though I had been disabled for 14 years. I had not come out as non-binary, or explored my queerness.”
The songs from their EP have been described as ‘straight from the amygdala,’ also known as the part of the brain that detects fear, emotions, memories, and rewards or praises. Each song off the EP gives homage to their self-consciousness and queerness. And they explained that the music is not necessarily about their disability and queerness. “Because we need that, right? In the end, we need that representation. I am speaking to every human’s experience, and we need to humanize those marginalized identities, generally speaking.”
APO/THECARY
The Concept of Duality and Diving Deep Into the Tracklist
Discovering the concept of duality a few years ago reshaped the way they understood other people's lifestyles and approached their own music. In each of their song titles, there is a /, which is an homage to that. They define duality as: “The idea that humans cannot define one thing without its opposite. For example: good cannot exist without bad. Neither can exist without the other, both as definitions and as concepts.” “SURPLUS/SCARCITY” is one example of this idea of duality. Not only is it the opening track, but it also has a beat that gets your body moving.
Whereas the last few tracks are more eerie and meant for nights when listeners cannot sleep, “G/B” refers to the word Gameboy. It is the only track off the project that delves into their childhood as a disabled individual without an identity yet. Following “G/B” is “UN/CERTAINTINY,” a song about learning to love their disabled body and a spiritual awakening. An awakening that not only represents their queerness but also their acceptance of their disability pride as an adult.
Ironically, the EP ends after midnight, with two songs that leave listeners with a feeling of curiosity that is never-ending. “333/am” (like the time 3:33 AM) and “STAY/AWAKE” are reminders that maybe yes, witchcraft does exist out there. And nothing is ever as it seems, whether it’s about a person’s personal life, appearance, or insecurities.
RAMPD, Disability Pride Month, and Future Projects
DEĀ EX MACHINĀ is also a proud professional member of RAMPD, a community of Recording Artists and Professionals With Disabilities. As a proud disabled demisexual artist, their goal is to start a disabled-led open mic. A place where they can give more disabled people like them the microphone to be an advocate and show the world their art. They added that allies can enjoy it too, but everyone working the event will be disabled. “I have not seen any other openly disabled artists in Iowa yet. That is something I hope changes in the future. I hope more of us [disabled artists] stand up and have EP release shows.”
Their Disabled Artists Recommendations:
Medusa (RAMPD Professional member, Artist, producer of DEĀ EX MACHINĀ’s EP)
Gaelynn Lea (Co-Founder of RAMPD, Artist, Author)
LACHI (Co-founder and CEO of RAMPD, Artist, Author)
LinkTree: DEĀ EX MACHINĀ Links and Socials